I had a weird dream last night that involved a lot of vomiting, trying to survive in a Lord of the Flies scenario with a group of skeleton scientists, and Princess Bubblegum making out with Marceline like she was about to die, all candy corn teeth hitting fangs and sticky pink tongue stretching, then blanching, then falling down Marceline’s boiling hot throat.
And then I woke up with a full stomach.
gee thanks for the sudden breakouts face, really missed feeling like the zit version of pompeii
kiss me kiss me
WHAT. I NEED MORE DETAILS ON THIS WHEN YOU WAKE UP. BECAUSE WHAT.
I think one of the happiest, or at least most relishable, moments of my life was learning this.
Just so you know, this guy was pretty much satan growing up. I’d have to deal with him being a complete dick like hitting me for trying to play Pokemon, not let me play any games, general hot shit elitist douchebag behaviour whenever I was around, etc.
Fast forward a few years. I’m 16, bored as fuck, sitting in the backseat and his mom + my mom are gossiping.
The great thing about growing up second-gen pinoy? No one thinks you understand anything in tagalog.
So picture me, listening raptly as this woman describes in detail how her son, at 19, is starting to have “concerns about the female body” and how in tears he told her he’s never seen pussy up close and asked her if there was something wrong with him not getting horny because of that.
I really don’t understand how the solution to this problem was her showing him her vagina one day, but it happened, and apparently “all his worries disappeared.”
Anyway, it’s hard to actively hate a dude who antagonized you throughout childhood when he sunk to, well, that.
i’m telling you man, there’s nothing better than finding out your childhood arch-enemy hadn’t seen pussy until he begged his mother to let him see hers
when he was 19 years old
*hugs all of you and gives you all a clean bill of health, good home lives, a million dollars and a vibrator*